When all that glittered wasn’t gold

Be careful of who you compare yourself to because the gold you see may not be as pure as you think.
I wasted years wishing I could:

– Be more like ….
– Look more like ….
– Have a relationship like ….
– Be a success like ….

But in truth I didn’t know them at all.

Years ago I frequented a bar in Umhlanga where I would sit and write. Each day I watched the regulars come in and, to me, their gold shone as brightly as the sun. They appeared confident, successful and accomplished. They would laugh with their equally shiny friends, flashing perfect smiles and perfect bodies. I wrote page after page wishing that I was less like me and more like them. However, one day that all changed….

Over time a few of them would come over to ask what I was writing; so I would show them. Every single one was gobsmacked at the glitter that I saw and with that, a few revealed the true purity of their gold. Some were husbands having affairs and women struggling with bulimia. Others were parents that didn’t know their children and children that didn’t want to know their parents. It was then that I realised that, despite appearances, there was no one whose glitter was shinier than mine, nor shinier than anybody else’s for that matter.

I recognise that it’s difficult to not compare ourselves to others and at times I still find myself caught in the comparison-story. However, I now have the experience to sit back and ask myself, ‘Do I really know them?’. So far, the answer has been a resounding, ‘No’.

Be careful of who you compare yourself to because the gold you see may not be as pure as you think. Instead, recognise and be grateful for the gold that lies in you.

To read more by Richard Grossi click here

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