Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, repetitive and stressful and they can push us to the brink of insanity. One of the most common questions clients ask me when dealing with traumatic situations is, “Why can’t I let this go?” The answer is simple.
The reason our minds replay scenarios over again is because we are not satisfied with the current outcome of our situation.
Therefore, our mind will replay these ‘movies’ in the hope of finding another outcome. More than often there simply isn’t one to be found.
Scenario: At the end of a relationship (romantic/ friendship) our minds will review the relationship in an attempt to understand what went wrong. Questions such as, “If I had said X or done Y would the outcome be different?’ will hijack your mind as it searches for a ‘better’ outcome.
So now what? What do we do with this?
I can appreciate that not all situations end the way we hoped however, we are not able to go back in time and change them. To ease intrusive thoughts we can make peace with the current outcome instead of fighting against it. This surrender will induce a shift towards acceptance. Remember, acceptance doesn’t mean that we have to like the outcome but that we accept it happened.
When we accept this there is no longer a need to ‘solve the puzzle’ and your intrusive thoughts will quieten.
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