Finding Self-Control
The million-dollar question is, ‘how do I find this self-control?’
In my experience I discovered that when I stopped being reactive towards everything I encountered (people & situations) I was able to harness this strength. Once I moved from reactor to observer I discovered that emotions had no structure unless I attach a meaning to them.
We are complex beings who often bring the past and future into our present. The moment I accepted this the actions of others no longer had a hold over my own personal emotional wellness. They were on their own journey and it really had nothing to do with me.
There was no form of self-discovery or breakthrough that happened for me to reach this point. I simply stopped assigning meaning to other opinions and actions. These days I still listen to what people say however, the fundamental difference is that I observe and don’t react.
This form of self-control is self-respect and each of us have the ability to wield it. Think of a situation in which you reacted on instinct then and ask yourself, ‘how could I have done it differently?’ Being an observer vs a reactor provides us with the million dollar tool of control.
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Hi Richard,
Thank you for sharing. Your article resonates well with me and will minimize suffering
Warm regards,
Alf