Why do we sit in front of closed doors when life has other plans for us?
We often bang on closed doors frustrated and disappointed that they won’t open. But what keeps us there? What is so special about our closed door that keeps us ‘stuck’? In my experience I’ve learnt that it has little to do with the door but everything to do with our emotional attachment to what we believe lies on the other side of it. Our emotional attachments lead us into stories (false imaginings) and it’s these stories which keep us stuck. Our emotive stories have the power to make us reactive, irrational and compulsive. If this were not so then how would you explain your innate wisdom when advising a friend about their closed door?
How many times have you listened to their stories and thought, “How could you be so blind?”
- When you dip into a friend’s story you are the observer of the emotional attachment.
- When you are lost in your own story you are the reactor to the emotion attachment.
How many times have you looked back at closed doors in your life and thought, “Thank God!” That 20/20 vision (innate wisdom) has stepped forward because you’ve allowed yourself space to detach from your emotive story and become the observer. If you find yourself sitting in front of a closed door you can kick start the detachment process by simply becoming aware of your attachment to the story. Then become the observer by asking yourself, “What is it about my story that I’m not willing to accept?” Once you have this answer then you have something solid to work with. Remind yourself that it’s not the situation (the uncontrollable) but ourselves (the controllable) that can be changed. Acceptance is a process of choice, so are you really stuck or are you being stubborn?
If you would like to learn more on the topic, ‘The Stories We Live In’ watch Episode 2 of my Coaching Series on YouTube where I discuss this topic.
Copy and paste this link into YouTube: https://zcu.io/ypvr