Boundaries – which side of the fence are you?

Having low personal boundaries will leave you feeling emotionally and physically drained. Why? The answer is simple. When you are constantly giving parts of yourself to others your life isn’t truly yours. It’s a wonderful characteristic to be kind and generous with your time however, empathy, with no personal boundaries, will bleed your energy.

Setting boundaries isn’t an easy thing to do and the thought of it can make people feel very uncomfortable – if you are one of those people, then I’m confident in saying that your personal boundaries are probably on the lower side. So where to from here? Every journey of discovery starts with a step. I advise that you start small by asking yourself a few questions which you’ve probably unconsciously avoided for some time.

1. What are your deep needs and how are they being fulfilled? Perhaps take some time for yourself and start a process of rediscovering who you are. Turn off your phone, go for a walk and just ‘be’. Allow yourself to reconnect with ‘you’.

2. Listen to yourself: I bought an art pad the other day and allowed myself to journal in a creative way. I was surprised with the amount of reflection this creative process churned out. Try it, do something different if you find it difficult to tune into your inner voice.

3. Observe yourself: Take note of the various interactions you have over the next 5 days. If you discover a few gaps in your personal boundaries don’t act on them immediately. Your first step towards action is awareness. Remember, this is a process of discovery so easy does it.

I personally began this journey only three years ago and yes, it was crazy uncomfortable at first but I can honestly say that re-establishing my personal boundaries has significantly changed my life for the better.